


Freedom

by FluffyFlo



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fan Apprentice - Freeform, I don't mean to think about stuff like this all day, My Apprentice, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Unplanned Pregnancy, also she mentions running away from her family before but it's not because she had a bad homelife, but it's a good character moment for venus, papa julian, she just ran because she wanted freedom and she thought that was the only way, venus pavo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 10:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17723096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyFlo/pseuds/FluffyFlo
Summary: Julian, Venus, and Mazelinka plan to discuss Portia's birthday over lunch, but the couple arrives at Mazelinka's home far later than promised and Venus is acting off.(Venus is my own fan apprentice! She has a storied history with Julian before the plague, so she's quite close with his family)





	Freedom

“Ugh!” Relief poured off of Venus’s shoulders as she and Julian ducked through the short doorway of Mazelinka’s home. Portia’s birthday was drawing closer, and the three of them had all agreed that they should plan something special for her. Venus and Julian had been due for lunch at noon, to discuss the plan, but noon had come and passed and by all indications, it was a miracle they’d even made it at all. “I’m sorry we’re late,” Venus said.

“She normally wakes up first,” Julian explained, shrugging off his coat and beginning on his shirt buttons, “so I waited for her, thinking she’d be up in time, but then Malak was screaming in our window and the sun was already low.” He’d conveniently avoided eye contact with Mazelinka the entire time he stripped, but when he finally met her eyes, he flushed under her accusatory glower.

“Quit it with your excuses, boy,” she said, giving a slight wave of her spoon that made Julian flinch a little. Any threat was empty, Venus knew, and she giggled a warm laugh until Mazelinka’s eyes fell on her with that same pointed weight. Like it was her fault for making them late. But Mazelinka said nothing, only inspecting the other lumbering figure before returning to her food.

“I had a feeling you’d be late. The stew still has a while to go yet. Sit. We’ll talk about Pasha’s birthday.” Long limbs folded, knees too tall to fit under the table, Venus and Julian obeyed. Venus couldn’t remain folded up for long, however, and with a huff, she stretched out, doing her best to keep her aching feet out of Mazelinka’s way. 

They’d been aching far too often lately and it was beginning to get on her nerves. She hid them from Julian, sure he’d be concerned that they were swollen. He’d coddle her and keep her off her feet, sure that she was on them too much and that was why they gave her so much grief. Honestly, that could have been the cause. She hadn’t a clue what was doing it anyway. Nevertheless, she stuffed her feet into her boots and kept them hidden from her partner, not wanting to trouble him.

Then there was her back, only mildly relieved as she stretched out and settled. It was as if her body was rebelling and she was not having that. No foot pain nor back pain would stop Venus Pavo. That was ridiculous. She’d sooner be defeated by a pirate again than by her own body. And she certainly wasn’t going to admit all of her troubles to Julian. He’d end the battle for her then and there and pamper her until she grew restless.

It had to be business as usual.

But when Mazelinka’s eyes traced up Venus’s leg and to her face, she felt so suddenly transparent, as if she’d been seen through. As if Mazelinka had seen the cards up her sleeves. _Don’t tell Julian,_ she pleaded, hoping her eyes could relay the message. _Just slip something in the stew. I’m not weak enough to bend to some flu._ That’s what it was. It was some flu or cold or something and her body was fighting it off. She knew Julian would treat it like the end of the world.

“Any ideas for her birthday, then?” Mazelinka asked, back turned as she stirred the stew and kept the heat thoroughly distributed.

“Hmm.” Julian took his chin between his fingers, tilting his head back to search the ceiling for ideas. “What if we took her to the Red Market and let her check it out? You know she’d like to get into some trouble and I’m sure there’s plenty down there to catch her eye.” Oh how Venus loved that look: his raised brow, his crooked smirk, his eyes glimmering. It practically screamed trouble. It’d never get old. “Besides. They take doubloons down there. I could buy her an elephant if she wanted it.”

“Phah! Don’t you go getting Pasha into any of your kind of trouble, Ilya. She’s got her cottage at the palace, but she ain’t got room for an elephant. Don’t give her ideas,” Mazelinka said, offering a smile to soften her words. The sentiment was nice, but the Devoraks could run wild with their fantasies.

“How about we just treat her to dinner at the Raven?” Venus offered. “And get her a new dress and something for Pepi.”

“Ah! Come on Venus. We can take her to dinner any time we want. This is her birthday!” Julian gently backhanded her shoulder, letting out a chortle before her groan stopped him dead. “Venus? What’s wrong?”

_Shit!_

“What? Nothing’s wrong. I’m just sleepy, I guess. I was kept up thinking about our present for her.” Hopefully he’d buy the excuse. She couldn’t let him know she was sick. It was Portia’s time in the limelight.

“Kept up thinking about her and all you got it the Raven?” Mazelinka’s words had Venus trying to shrink into her chair, face starting to flush. Her mouth worked, trying to form a good response, but truly, she was too tired. Her brain was too worn out to come up with a good excuse.

“When are you gonna tell him?” Her follow up question hit Venus like an undertow, knocking her off balance. If she wasn’t floundering before, she certainly was now.  
“T-tell him what?” Damn that stutter. She couldn’t have incriminated herself any more if she’d just come out with it.

“Tell me what?” Julian repeated, turning his body to face Venus’s, reaching out to hold her face and keep her attention. He couldn’t let her squirm away without an answer. Venus kept her eyes off of Julian, catching Mazelinka’s expectant brow raise. God. She hated being pinned down.

“I’m sick, alright? I just have a cold or something. I just wanted to focus on Portia, but my back hurts and my feet.” She shouldn’t feel so resided to defeat, just at telling her partner that she was under the weather, but that didn’t change the fact that she did feel like it was a surrender. “Don’t you dare coddle me, Ilya. I want to focus on your sister.”

“That’s bullshit.” Now Venus was absolutely bewildered. What had Mazelinka said? Was she serious? Calling her admission bullshit? If her brain wasn’t so fatigued, she’d have prepared some choice words. She wasn’t above spouting fighting words with her partner’s guardian, even if she should have been.

“Don’t feed him those lies. You’re not a coward, are ya?”

“What the hell are you going on about?” 

“You’re a piss-poor liar, Pavo.” Her name felt like a curse. “Your back hurts. I can see how swollen your feet are through your boots. You don’t sleep in either unless you’re hungover and I’d smell that off of Ilya. This is just damn cruel. What, are you going to make him wait until the baby’s born until you tell him he’s gonna be a father?”

The silence was deafening. Venus could feel her heartbeat in her fingers and it echoed in her ears. _What?_ Her eyes searched empty space as if she could piece together what Mazelinka had said just in that space. She’d said “baby.” She’d said _“baby.”_

“What?” Julian’s voice sounded strange and slow. If Venus hadn’t been turning her attention to him, she was scarcely sure she’d have even heard him over the roar of repeating words, “baby” and “father.” She was going to die from her heart racing alone.

Then she was gone, heartbeat drowned by her boots beating the pavement, thoughts swallowed by the changing scenery. Transitions were gone. Her perception felt like it came and went. She couldn’t have retraced her steps if she tried, but her feet were trustworthy enough to lead her to someplace safe, someplace familiar— the docks. Out of places to run, her world finally slowed down enough for her to try to grasp it all.

She was pregnant. That made sense. It made more sense than a cold or a flu. That was why she was in the washroom more often. That was why she couldn’t stand the smell of Julian’s coffee in the morning. That was why her back hurt and that was why her feet were swollen. 

How couldn’t she have put the pieces together? She wasn’t stupid. She knew medicine and she’d been around the world and met plenty of pregnant people and heard all kinds of symptoms through complaints and anecdotes over her wares. How couldn’t she have known? Weren’t women supposed to _feel_ it in their guts?

It could all be a nightmare. Perhaps this was the pregnancy dream and she’d wake up in Julian’s arms and surprise him with the news. That was a better series of events.

But that hope was dashed as she hesitantly ran her fingers down her midline, tracing the gentle but firm curve of her stomach. It wasn’t fat. It wasn’t water weight. It wasn’t bloating. And it wasn’t a dream. The prominence of the shape ripped a cry from her throat, but her hands stayed cupped around it so that it stayed solid in her mind. She’d ignored every symptom, every indication, every change, for _that_ long. Months. It had to have been months. 

Finally, her legs couldn’t hold her any longer and she collapsed, eyes fixed somewhere between her and the sea, somewhere not real. Why couldn’t it be a dream? Why couldn’t time stop? How would she face Julian? 

_Run._ Then she wouldn’t have to face him. It wouldn’t have to be real. She could just pretend and come back when it was all over.

But that was a lie and she didn't want to run. Not anymore. Not from Julian. Not from her memories. Not from her home. But she didn’t want to face it either. She didn’t want answers to her worries and she didn’t want to face her ineptitude. How could she not realize she was pregnant? _That pregnant._ Pregnant enough that Mazelinka could tell.

“Venus?” Her name was like a distant call, summoning her home. It took a moment for her to come back, listening to Julian repeat her name like a chant, approaching her like he’d approach a wounded animal. His labored breath shook her eardrums. He’d chased her. He’d followed. For whatever reason, that notion steadied her foundation a bit. Not enough.

Her eyes found his mouth, working desperately to form words, to ask questions. She couldn’t look to his eyes. Surely, she’d crumble and sob if she saw them and their raw emotion. She knew that any look he gave her would ruin her. She was just as afraid of his fathomless love as she was of his rejection. How could she be ready for any of this?

“S-so, so…” Words were impossible to make, and to hear. His words were cracks in the ice. “I-I suppose this is news to, to you too then?” His fingers twiddled with themselves, dangerously close to a knot. His lips trembled as he waited for her answer. Finally, she dared to meet his eyes. Just as expected, they were full of love and hope and it made her stomach flip.

Her answer came not in words but in a pitiful laugh that hardly wasted any time in turning into tears. She reached for him, finally broken, and pulled him down to her level so that she wasn’t alone. _She wasn’t alone anyway._ Together, their hands were no steadier than they were apart, but she was still able to guide his hands around her back and to her stomach. He gasped and her tears only fell harder.

“I-I’m just dull,” she finally muttered, leaning back in his hold and he gripped her tighter. He didn’t feel strong. It felt like they were leaning on each other and the moment one gave out, the other would come with them. “How— how couldn’t I r-realize.”

“At least you’re not a doctor.” For once, she appreciated his self-deprecating joke. It broke through her sobs for a moment and teased her lips into a defeated smile.

“At least I’m not a doctor,” she repeated.

The sun hung low over the horizon, painting the water every color imaginable. The sky was bathed orange and the air was warm and the wind tasted like the night already. The couple swayed and Julian’s thumbs gently drew shapes on her stomach. It was soothing, but not obvious, and it wrapped Venus in such comfort to know that he was careful enough to let her get used to it all first. How could she be so lucky? Thank God it wasn’t a dream.

They stayed together, exhausted and cathartic and quite content to let the world stop, until the sun dipped below the waves. The questions still remained to be answered between them, but they both finally felt they had the breath to answer them.

“I don’t want you coddling me,” she said, reaching down and lifting his right hand to her mouth, placing down kisses through the leather of his glove.

“Venus, I don’t want you pushing yourself too far.” She stripped his hand as he spoke, busying herself with his tendons and bones.

“I won’t.” She didn’t have to look at him to know his mouth had dropped open to reply and shut tight to rethink his words.

“Do you…” His voice sounded strained and weak. He didn’t need to finish the question, but she wanted to hear it. She wanted that last moment to ponder her answer. “Do you want this?” 

She couldn’t leave him hanging. That’d kill him. She wanted to say “of course,” but she wasn’t that confident. She wanted to tell him the truth, that she was afraid and unprepared, but that was already something they understood.

“Yes.” The answer was weak, but true. She didn’t have to say anything more for Julian to hear the conflict in her heart, so he hid his grin, stuffing his forehead into the meat of her shoulder. She wasn’t a liar, but sometimes she didn’t consider all the options.

“If you’re…” He had to swallow a lump in his throat and sound more impartial. He wanted to jump for joy and lift her and show her off and announce it to everyone, but he knew as well as anyone that a person could only do as much as they were ready for. “If you’re not ready…” — His voice was smaller this time— “... we can find them another home.”

She didn’t answer immediately. Being run through with a sword would have been better than her silence.

“I—! I know sev-several families! Who lost children— babies— in the… the… We can help them! Th-they’re ready a-and I’m sure...” He prattled on and pulled away from her shoulder, trying to keep the momentum in his speech, but his voice was already cracking and betraying him. “I’m sure ou— er, the baby w-would be… would be wel-welcome.”

“N-no, Ilya,” Venus whispered, twisting her body to face him, never letting his arms to retract. His eyes couldn’t even attempt to hide his heartbreak. She could watch as all of his hope decayed into mourning, already instinctively ripping his happiness away from himself. She rose to her knees and pulled him close, head pressed flat to her stomach. From where she could see, he was a flustered mess of mussed hair and tears, but his hands took purchase of the shirt at the small of her back, gripping her close desperately.

“My gut is telling me to run.” She carded her fingers through his hair and he breathed a shuddering sigh. “But I can’t imagine anywhere I’d go without you. I can’t imagine any problem I couldn’t solve without you. I ran away from my family once. I wanted my freedom at any cost. But Ilya, you’re my freedom, and I’m not running from my family again. Do you understand?”

The question was for the both of them.

Julian nodded and clung to her, slowly and carefully getting to his feet. He guided her into his arms, earning a laugh as she flailed her arms for balance, unused to being lifted. He held her and met her eyes and she wasn’t afraid of the love.

“I think I have a good present for Pasha,” he said, turning from the water and beginning back into the city, toward home. “I think she’ll like being an aunt.” Venus couldn’t help but to grin wildly.

“Are you kidding? She’ll mark this as one of her best birthdays. I think we’ll only be able to outdo this if we get her a ship,” she said, catching Julian’s loving gaze one more time before relaxing in his arms, grateful to give her back and feet a break.


End file.
